My PCD week pictures <3

Here are some pictures from my eventful PCD week! The review is down below if you haven't read it already. They are all in a bit of a mixed up order but I can't really be bothered to sort them out, sorry!! :)


Me, Taylor and Lisa after Kims dance class.


Team Wyatt banner.


Jaimi, Lisa and myself waiting for the Dolls to come on stage in Liverpool.


"We go up, we go down, like an elevator" :)


Chloe and I in Liverpool haha.


Me (looking a bit windswept) and Tom.


Pictures from the Silverstone and Kent concerts!

Melody <3


Kim <3


Ashley <3 lol.


KimMel! :)


Nicole looking a bit scary haha.


Ash and Kim rockin' out! Love this!


Kim, Nicole, Melody & Ashley.


Melodyyy.


Kim!


Hehe :)


Me with my "Melody Stars" before leaving for Silverstone.


Lisa and I in Kent.


Omg it's Kims glove! I caught it when she threw it into the crowd at Kent.


Lisa, Kim and I before the class :)


I loooove this picture :)


I also love this picture! Natalie, Nabeel, myself and Lisa.


Kim and I at the M&G after the class :D


Kim signed the glove for me :) <3


Christian, Lisa and I in London.


Me with Melody!


Another one. It was raining :(


Kim and me again.


Melody and me againnn...


Aww yay it's me and Ashley :D I could have smiled more though :/


I love this picture! Ashley, me and Kimmm.


Melody and I after randomly bumping into her in the street.


Nabeel and Natty...love these two. <3


E, Nabeel, me, Bizu and Alvin :)


Haha this was when we randomly met Aly and AJ while waiting for PCD.



With Miss Ashley Roberts again.


Aww me and Nabeeeeeel!!!!


Last pic of Kim and I!

And here is a video I made of my Kim memories from the week :)

In Memory of my Nana.

Erika Elisabeth Koorem, my grandmother, was born on the 7th of July 1925. She had 6 brothers and 1 sister; Bernard, Oscar, August, Enn, Theresa, Paul & Alfred. Her father, Karl, died when she was a young child, and she was always very close to her mother Miina.

My grandmother was born and raised on the island of Saaremaa, Estonia. She had a pleasant childhood, living in a cottage in the woods, playing in the forrest and swimming in the sea.

Unfortunately, during second World War, the Russians invaded the country and my grandmothers name was placed on a list to be relocated to Siberia. She then decided she had to flee the country. So, at just 19 years old, she said goodbye to her beloved mother and boarded a ship headed to Latvia. However, shortly after boarding the ship, a Russian submarine fired a torpedo and one end of the ship blew into flames, and the ship began to sink. There was over 1000 people on board. My nana told me she never had a lifejacket on, as she was using it as pillow, but forgot to pick it up when the torpedo struck. So her boyfriend gave his lifejacket to her and they jumped into the sea. She never saw her boyfriend again. Her brother was also on the ship but they lost each other. My nana drifted in the sea for hours until a German ship came and rescued her. She later learned that only a couple of hundred people aboard the fateful ship survived.

My nana then went to Latvia and then to Poland and then to no mans land. She went from hiding place to hiding place, and lived with no money and very little food. The Russians were invading badly, and if she was found, she would have been sent to a concentration camp. She also found out her brother had survived the ship incident and was sent to another country to work.

Then around 1946, since my nana was classed as a "displaced person" she was given the option to go to either Australia, England or the US. She originally wanted to go to the US or Australia but the wait was too long so she opted for England. After spending a few weeks in Bristol, she then moved to Dundee in Scotland where she became a factory worker and then a nurse.

My nana had a passion for dancing and often traveled to Perth in Scotland to go dancing. While there, she met Jim Peggie, a musician in the band. Shortly after, she moved to Perth and before long she married Jim and had 3 sons, David, Jimmy & Eric. They made a happy life for themselves although my nana never got to return to Estonia until after her mother had died, by which she was very saddened. She had often written letters to her mother, but they were always returned unopened.

Her sons gave her 4 granddaughters. Sarah, Louise and myself, as well as Anna who lives in Arizona. I always remember going to stay with my nana and papa during the school holidays, and I always loved it as we would be spoiled rotten. My nana loved swimming and would often swim 2-3 times a week, 30-40 lengths at a time! She also loved yoga, and of course dancing. She attended tea-dancing classes once a week.

In 1999, her husband, my Papa, sadly died. He was sorely missed but my Nana kept herself busy with her hobbies. As well as swimming and dancing my Nana loved to tend the garden. She definitely had the most beautiful and colourful garden I've ever seen!! She also liked to take trips abroad as she was a sun-worshipper and was always outside tanning herself!!

As I got older, I always made sure to take time out to visit my Nana. She was the most important person in my life after my own mother had died and we often found ourselves having long, deep conversations about anything and everything. She was also a great lover of animals and she even had a pet fly at one point which she fed with sugar and water because he had a "sore wing"! Anyone found hurting any insect or animal was quickly given into trouble.

I'm so proud of my Estonian heritage, and I was lucky enough to get to visit Estonia in 2005 when we took my Nana for her 80th birthday. It's a beautiful, serene country with lots of history and I hope to go back one day.

Sadly, my nana died on the 22nd August 2007 from cancer, aged 82. It was a very sad day for the whole family as she was cherished and adored by everyone. She knew how to brighten anyones day. I love my nana so much and can't believe it's now been 2 years since she died. She was an amazing and inspirational woman who I miss so much. I hope one day I can be like her and she always embraced life and lived every day to the fullest.

In loving memory of Erika Elisabeth Peggie 7/7/1925 - 22/8/2007

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, As the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, friends, and favourite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else - the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

(thank you to Kerry on BM for posting this, I love it. <3)

My PCD Week.

It's been a couple of weeks since I got back from England seeing PCD, but I would like to blog about it so I can remember it for the rest of my life :)

I got off to a rocky start...the day before I was due to leave I hadn't received my tickets for Silverstone OR Kent. I phoned up Silverstone and they said they would keep my ticket at the box office and just pick it up on the day. Ok that was easy enough. The Kent ticket was another story...The Post Office had failed to deliver it on time so I decided to just pick it up from my local Post Office (looong story). Anyway, so on Tuesday 21st July I went to the Post Office at 2pm to pick up my ticket only to find it was closed. I had no idea what to. I quickly got on the phone to Post Office and Royal Mail but after being put on hold for ages, and transferring me a million different times, they eventually told me there was nothing they could do. I was leaving for Liverpool the next morning at 8am and the Post Office didn't open till 9am. So I was screwed. I phoned and emailed the venue but got no response, so decided my best plan was to just print off my booking confirmation and hope that would work!

So Wednesday 22nd July finally comes after waiting for what seems like yearssss!!! I got the train from Glasgow to Liverpool eventually after missing my connecting train (really wasn't having a good week!) where I met up with Jaimi, Lisa, Chloe and Tom. We check into our hotel and then just hung around the Echo Arena to see if we could see the Dolls. We were told they wouldn't be coming until 7pm. Chloe, Tom and I went into town, then came back about 6ish. There were other fans there too, and then just before 7pm about 3 or 4 cars come up and drive right in. I knew they were in the cars but wasn't really expecting them to stop anyway.

Then we got ready and went to the concert. I was sooooo excited, since I hadn't seen them since their tour in January. Anyway the show started, and it was soooo amazing. I remember just watching Kim the whole time and being mesmerized, she really was putting her everything into that show. We also had a banner that said "Team Wyatt" on one side and "Scottish PCD Groupies" on the other side. When we held up the TW side Kim pointed to us, waved and gave us a thumbs up and then during the intros she said "Team Wyatt I see ya out there!!" Then when we had the other side up, Kim nudged Nicole, and pointed at our banner and then Nicole said "I see we have some groupies in the house tonight!" It was amazingggg!!!

After the show we went round the back to see if we could see the Dolls coming out, unfortunately they just drove right past us again, but I definitely saw Kim leaning right into the front of the car and waving hard at us :)

The next day (Thursday) Lisa, Jaimi and I said bye to Chloe and Tom and made our way from Liverpool to Northampton. While in the station, I realised I left my train tickets in the hotel, but didn't have enough time to go and get them so I had to pay for another one which I was kind of annoyed about... We eventually got there, and gave the address of our hotel to the taxi driver, who said it was in the next town, so we end up paying like 20 quid for the taxi. We check in at our hotel, and the receptionist helps us to find out the cheapest eay to get to Silverstone race track. A taxi would cost about 30 pounds but a day ticket on the bus only cost 3 pounds, but would take 2.5 hours to get there! We go out for dinner and then head back to the hotel and sleeeep.

The next morning was Friday, day of the Silverstone concert. We got up at like 7am and just decided to get a taxi because it would be waaay too much hassle to get like a million busses! So we got a taxi about 8.30am and it literally takes about 40minutes to get from our hotel to Silverstone! Even though it said on the internet it was only 9 miles away! We went to pick up our tickets, which took like half an hour because they said they had no record of mine...but they
eventually gave me a ticket anyway. We go into the place and it's huuuuuge. We weren't bothered about the racing at all just wanted to start queueing up for the concert. So we walked around and we see the stage in the distance but can't figure out how to get to it! Then we randomly bumped into Nabeel and Tori...so we all start walking around trying to figure out how to get to the stage.

We eventually got there at like 11am or something...but the security people wouldn't let us go in, so we had to wait until they would. We waited for hourssss and there were sooo many bugs, and it was raining occasionally but we were first in line so I didn't mind! Eventually 6pm rolled around and by this time there were loadsss of people. We also had an argument with some Blue fans which was pretty funny. Then the secuirty said we could go in and we all bolted and I swear I never ran so fast in my life. I could feel myself almost falling but was determined not to fall, so I could get to the front! The stage didn't seem that far but it felt like ages we were running. I managed to get front row, so I was happy although Jaimi and I were seperated from Lisa, Chelsea and the others.

And we waited for a whileee and had to watch Toploader (rubbish) and Blue (actually alright) first. But then 9pm approaches and I am like OMG so exciteddd!!! PCD come on and I am sooooo exctied cos I have neverrrr been front row for PCD before and as SOON as they come down from the steps, Kim recognises me and points, waves and smilesss!! Lisa had our banner again
and Kim gave us another shoutout thanking us for all the support :) The show was absolutely amazingggg as usual and at one pointed I shouted "Melody, I love you!" And she looked at me and said "Did you just say Melody?" And I said "Yeah, you!" and then she seemed really touched and said "Aww thank you, that means so much to me! I love you too!!" Ahhh she is sooo sweet :)

Then after the concert we were waiting for the taxi when PCDs cars drive past and we're like OMG!!! But they never stopped. Then I had to pay 50 pounds just to get us back to our hotel, which I wasn't very happy with =/ We go back and just fall asleep cos we were sooooo tired.

The next day was Saturday and Lisa and I had to say bye to Jaimi cos she had to go home. Lisa and I had to get the train to London at like 8am, then get the tube (a nightmare cos the Victoria line was closed) then another train to Birchington in Kent. We finally get there and check into our cute lil B&B by the seaside. And then literally run to the park where the concert was because we wanted to be near the front. The gates opened at 3pm but we didn't get there until about midday. When we got there, they queue wasn't as big as I thought, but there was 3 queues and then there was another gate where other people were queueing up. I still didn't have my ticket by this point and they said I could get it once I was inside. So I thought I would never get to the front. They eventually open the gates at 2pm, and everyoneeee starts running only to find we have to wait at another gate. I go and get my ticket, which took about 30 minutes but I was just glad they gave it to me. I then went to the queue and Lisa was pretty near the front but the stupid security person wouldn't let me in and told me I had to go to the back. But the queue was sooooooo long by this point, I couldn't even see the back. But then a nice girl just opened the gate beside her and was like "just come in here" so I snuck in, and managed to push my way
next to Lisa, Tori, Nabeel etc so I was happpyyyyy. There were 2 gates on either side of the park so I knew we would have to run for our lives to get to the front and I was a bit sceptical we would get front row. But then at 3pm the gates opened and I just bolted....I swear I've never ran so fast in my life. Luckily our gate opened, and the 2nd one was still shut so those poor people still had to wait. Anyway I ran so fast and was front row, pretty much centre!! I was sooooo happy because I totally wasn't expecting to be in the front row!!!

It was a hotttt day, and loads of people kept fainting and puking and having to be pulled out. But there were quite a few acts on before PCD. But after being crushed to death by JLS and N~Dubz fans it was finallyyy time for PCD to come on!!! Yay!! As usual, I was sooo excited! Melody recognised me from the night before and was waving at me the whole night, and so was Kim :) Then during the old school section Kim threw a glove and I was fighting with a guy over it, but he won :( But then Kim threw her other glove and I caught it and I was like OMGGGG sooo happy!!!! Kims glovee ahhh!!! Then the concert was over which I was a bit sad about, but still had more to look forward to :) Chelseas aunt gave Lisa and I a lift back to our hotel where we just fell straight asleep since it was another long, but amazing, day!

Thennn it was Sunday!! The day I had been looking forward to the most! Lisa and I got up stupidly early because we were catching a bus to London to go to Kims class! The bus took about 2 hours and we got there for about 9am. We walked for agessss trying to find our hotel, then eventually gave up and got a taxi and it turned out it was right across the street! So we dropped our luggage off and went to the Underground. I was feeling soooo sick. Like I literally thought
I was going to throw up because I was just so excited and nervous at the thought of meeting Kim and her teaching a dance class!!!

We eventually got to the hall at like 11.30am and we met Mark Summers outside and he told us Kim hadn't arrived yet and me and Lisa were like omg. And then Mark said she would be here in about 5 minutes and me and Lisa were like OMG!!!! :/ Just then a black car with blacked out windows pulls up at the end of the street and Mark goes over and talks to it, then comes back over and I said "Is that Kim in there?" and he said "Yep, she asked if that was Team Wyatt over there and I said yes" And I was like omfggg!!! But then the car drove away, and Mark told us, they had just gone to park, because the hall wasn't open yet and Kim was just gonna wait in her car till it opened.

But then Mark told us to go over and say hi and I was like "No..." but then he came with us, and Lisa was like "Omg, I can't!" and I was like "Yes you can Lisa, and don't you dare cry!!!" Then Mark sticks his head in the window and says "Kimberly there's some people here to see you" and she gets out of the car looking so beautiful and she had the biggest smile on her face. And I just go to her and give her a huge hug and just burst into tears. I had met her a few times before, but it had been sooooo long since the last time and in that gap Kim had been so inspiring to me, so just getting to meet her again was incredible. When I was hugging her, it felt like we were hugging for ages. She was kind of laughing at me crying haha. Then she was looking at my TW t-shirt, and told me she liked my shoes, and then she noticed my tattoo and said "Oh I get to see it in real life now!" And we got pictures with her, and were just talking. She was wearing a BM shirt and I told her it was beautiful and she asked me if I was ready for the class and I was like "Eh, I can't dance" and she said "That doesn't matter, we'll take it nice and slow" Then she asked me if I wanted to take the class but I can't even remember what I said. After that we left Kim and soon we were let into the hall.

There were quite a few people there and I got to meet Taylor :) As we were waiting in the queue to register, Kim starts walking towards us and everyone just stares at her. Then as she walked past, I kinda grabbed her hand and she gave me a big smile and squeezed my hand. Then we got registered and went into the dance studio where Kim was telling everyone about her life and how she got to be a part of the Pussycat Dolls. It was just so amazing to hear it first hand, from HER! Not in a magazine or on tv, but actually in the same room as her, listening to her story. It was so surreal.

Then we had to do warmups and as we were stretching Kim was coming round us all making sure we were doing it correctly. Then she came to me and said "Come on missy, show me what you can do" So I started stretching (sitting down, leaning forward, touching your toes) And Kim bent down beside me and pushed my back in and said "Wow! You're so flexible, I would never have guessed!" And I just sort of had my mouth open but didn't say anything and she walked away haha.

Then the class went on, and she was teaching us how to walk with confidence and she was making us walk across the studio, take 4 steps, do a some bendy down dance move thing and then keep walking. I was nervous because only 3 people did it at a time and it meant everyone else was watching you. So when it came to me I just walked right across the studio without
doing the dance move. But then I got embarrassed because I knew Kim was watching me from behind so I went over to Nabeel and just sort of hid into his arm. But what I didn't know was that Kim was coming up behind me. And when she was standing behind me I could just smell her perfume. Amazing btw. And she turned me round and said "Nuh-uh girl, come on, you're
gonna do that again!" Then for some reason, because I was shy and nervous and my emotions were running high, I just started crying and was like "No, please don't make me do it!! Please Kim, please don't make me do it!" And when she noticed I was crying she was just like "Oh it's ok. We're here to have fun, right? Just relax!" And she squeezed my arm and walked away. I was just so glad I didn't have to do it again!!

Then the class went on as normal. It got soooo hot in the studio and I really am the most unco-ordinated person ever, so I couldn't even do the simple dance moves. But I just stayed at the back the whole time so Kim never noticed how bad I really was haha. Then the class was finished and my favourite bit came...the cool down. We all had to lie on the floor with our eyes shut while Kim just spoke to us. She was being her usual inspirational self and it was so amazing and I almost started crying again. Then after that, we all got to sit round Kim and ask her questions, although I never asked anything.

Thennn after that we all went into another room where we could buy Beautiful Movements t-shirts and Kim was signing autographs and taking pictures. I bought a grey and pink BM sweater which I loooove. Then I stood in the queue for pictures and autographs. Kim was signing little BM cards for everyone, and when it came to me she wrote "I LOVE TEAM WYATT <3
Kimberly xo" and then I asked her if she would sign the glove I caught from her in Kent and she did! On it, she wrote "<3 Kimberly xo BM Family" Which made me smile alotttt :D Then Mark was taking pictures and he said he would take a video of me and Kim so I was sitting beside her while he was filming and I don't really remember what I said but it was probably random crap haha. Then he also took a picture of us. And then I hugged Kim and we left.

I was on suchhh a high!! I couldn't believe that I had just spent the last 3 hours with the most amamzing person on the planet! Then all of us went to Mayfair to the hotel, although Taylor didn't come :( And we waited for agessss, and it was raining at some points as well. But it was worth it! Kim then came back a couple hours later and she was talking to us but then said she had to go in for a shower. After that Lisa and I went back to our hotel, which took agessss since
the Victoria line was still closed. We got back to our hotel and pretty much fell asleep as we were so tired.

The next day was Monday and we had planned to go home that day. Lisas train was at 5pm but I forgot to book my bus the night before, so I tried to book it in the morning but all the busses were sold out. Then I looked at the trains and they were SO expensive and I started to panic a lil bit. But then I realised, instead of getting a train that night, it worked out cheaper to book the bus for the next day and stay in a cheap hotel. So I did that.

Lisa and I checked out of our hotel, but I left my luggage there. Then we made our way to PCDs hotel because we wanted to see if we could meet the other Dolls :) We got there and met up with Christian and we waited for a short while and then Melody came out of the hotel. I was sooo excited because Melody is my favourite Doll after Kim! I gave her the gift and card I had for her and apologised because I had spilt something on the card haha. Then we got pictures and
told her how much we loved her and she just started crying!! And I was like OMG so I was hugging her and she said "Sorry for crying but I'm just going through a hard time right now" and I was like "Aww are you missing home?" and she said "No that's not it. I just have some personal issues I need to deal with but you guys make it sooo much better for me" :) Then she said she was going to the shop to buy a new laptop charger and she just walked off by herself. Then a few minutes later Kim came out as she was leaving to do another day at her dance class. We got pictures with her and I finally got to give her the gift and letter I kept forgetting to give her! Then she went awayyy.

Then some more fans came and we were all waiting and I was starting to get worried about Melody haha because she had been gone a long time and was by herself. But then I looked up and I saw her standing at the door of the hotel and I think she was wondering if she should come over to us or not haha. But luckily I noticed her and said "Melody!" and we all got up and went over to her. She said she had been for a walk to clear her head and that she felt a bit better. Then she said she had eaten a sandwich and had wondered if she had any food in her teeth, but she didn't haha. Then she went back into her hotel.

Then we waited for a couple more hours and Ashley tweeted saying she was going to watch Kims class so we thought there was a very good chance she would be coming out of the hotel! And about 20 minutes later she did and we spoke to her and got pictures. She smelled soooo good. I gave her a hug but it wasn't very good haha. Then she had to leave because she was already late for Kims class haha.

After that Lisa had to go home :( so we said bye. and some of the other fans left too. So my friend Joel and I decided to go to Starbucks to kill some time and then go back to the hotel and hope to see Kim and Ash coming back from the class. After a couple of hours we went back, and then waited a couple of hours more. There was a random guy there too, who wanted their autograph, which I suspect was to sell or something. He didn't even know their names!! Anyway, then a weird thing happened. At 7pm Kimberly and Ashley came OUT of the hotel...we were wating for them to come back. Ashley tried to get straight in a taxi but Kim saw me and said "Aww look it's my friend!" and she came over and hugged me. And then I got a pic with Kim and Ash, and Joel gave Kim her gift. Then the random dude got Ashleys autograph but when he asked for Kims
she said no and then they got into a taxi because they were late for a dinner reservation. They both swore and I was like :O :O hahah. Then Joel and I were heading back to the underground and we were just chatting when all of a sudden Joel goes "Melody!!" so I look up and Melody and Jana are walking towards us and I'm like OMG! I give both of them a hug and Melody tells us how they just went to the London Dungeons and she thought it was a museum and she was terrfied because it was a haunted house, haha aww. Then we got pictures and I asked her if she got a lot of people stopping her in the street when she's out and she said she gets loads of stares. But some people come up to her, and few people did in the Dungeons she said. Then I asked
her if she remembered when she gave us some tea in January because I was so cold and she said yeah. So I thanked her for it and said it was really sweet of her. Then she was like "Well I'll bring you some more tomorrow if you want?" And I was like "Omg ok!!! You better promise!" and she was like "I will" haha aww. Then she asked us where we were going and Joel said he was going home and she asked him where he lived. Then I told her I was going back to my hotel then she said "Oh ok, so when do you go back home to Ireland?" And I was like "I live in Scotland" and she was like "Ooooh ok hahahahaha" And I was just like O.o lol. Then we eventually left her and I was soooo tired again so I just went back to my hotel and slepttt. Trust me, it is very tiring waiting for celebrities haha.

The next day was Tuesday...my last day :( I went to the hotel at about 10am and met up with Natalie, Iain and Paige :) Then pretty soon after that we saw Kim leave the hotel but we didn't have time to go over to her as she just got straight into her car. I was on a mission to see her again that day so I could say bye to her. Then Nabeel, Alvin and Bizu turned uppp and then Melody and Jana came out of the hotel and the first thing Melody said was "I didn't bring you any tea because it's a sunny day" And I was just like "Aww it's ok" It was so nice of her just to remember lol. And then she went away. And then we basically waited for hourrsssss. And we killed time by taking photos haha. Then eventually about 4pm Ashley came out and she said she was meeting a friend for lunch. We got pictures with her. And then Iain was in the bathroom
but he wanted her to sign his tourbook so Natalie said "Iains in the bathroom but wants you to sign this" And Ashley said "Ooooh number 1 or number 2" then Iain came round the corner and Ash said "Oh number 1 then" It was sooo hilarious. And then she left. But then a couple hours later she came back.

And we waited for hoursssss again. And Kim still hadn't come back and I was getting worried because I really wanted to say bye her but I was scared we had missed her going into the hotel, or that she wasn't coming back at all since she was hosting a club night that night. And I was listening to Stickwitu on my phone and felt really emotional because I had had the best week and didn't want it to end, and I was sad incase I didn't get to see Kim but then someone said "There's
Kim in the taxi" And I was like OMGGGG and I just started crying for some reasonnn and I was hugging Nabeel and then Kim got out of her taxi and I just ran straight to her and gave her a huge hug. I was just so happy to see her one last time :) I was trying not to cry the whole time. We got pictures and I told her I was leaving that night and she was like "Aww don't go, just stay!" And I was like "I wish" and then she was talking to the others and just before she left I asked for one last hug and she said "I'll miss you" into my ear and then she left. And I just burst into tears because I didn't know if or when I would see her again. But I was just so happy to have had such an amazing week.

It was literally the best week of my life. I got see PCD 3 times in concert, front row twice. I got to meet Kim, the person who inspires me so much in life. I got to go to her dance class which was just amazing!!! I got to meet Melody and Ashley too! (Although not Nicole as she was in Hungary, or Jess as she was in LA). And I got to meet and hang out with some amazing people, who I know will be friends for life!!! Lisa, Jaimi, Nabeel, Bizu, Natty, E, Chloe, Tom, Taylor, Alvin, Tori, Paige, Chelsea, Jodie, Joel, Christian and loadssss more but too many to name!! <3

Have You Ever?

Have you ever looked in the mirror, and not liked what you saw?
Have you ever done something that you now regret?
Have you ever been hurt so bad, that the pain still feels so fresh and raw?
Have you ever known someone you wish you'd never met?

Have you ever thought about how amazing life can be?
Have you ever said thank you to the people that were always there?
Have you ever just admired the sun and the stars and the sea?
Have you ever realised that there is always someone who will care?

Some people say "Don't focus on the negative" but I think sometimes it can be good to think about the bad times. You need to look at them, see where things went wrong and learn from the mistakes from your past. Don't dwell too much in the past, but don't completely shut out any bad things that have happened. It won't help.

But once you are done thinking about the bad times, go on to think about the good times. Everyone has their downs, but everyone also has their ups. Take a second to think about the good things in life. Be thankful for what you have and stop wishing for things you don't have. Take time out to tell loved ones how you feel about them. They could be gone tomorrow.

Look at the questions...answer them to yourself...make sure you deal with your past, cherish the present, and look forward to the future.

Perfection

Why do so many people aspire to be "perfect" when there is no such thing? I think most people are guilty of it at some point. Lots of people wake up every morning, look in the mirror and don't like what they see. We think about the people we see on tv and magazines and wish we could look like them. But what if everyone DID look like that? Then there would be no flavour in the world.

People often forget that beauty comes from the inside and sometimes go to drastic measures to change what's on the outside. People can be so insecure that they put their body through crazy, unnatural things to make their appearance look better. But what is beautiful to one person, may not be beautiful to another.

I truly admire people who are 100% comfortable in their own skin. No matter what shape or size they are, you can tell how comfortable they feel because they simply radiate and their body says "I am me and I don't care what anyone else thinks".

Somebody said to me earlier "So many people think about who they wish they could be rather than focus on who they actually are." That really spoke to me...People aspire to become people they are not. They look up to people they see in the media, most of the time to a person they don't even know, and aspire to be like them. Why? Because they are pretty? Famous? Skinny? It's ok to admire people, especially the people that really do inspire you. But don't look upto someone just because of the way they look. They are not you, and you are not them. Don't be a clone, be yourself.

Perfection doesn't exist. Because what you may think is perfect, isn't perfect to someone else. That's why I don't like the saying "practice makes perfect" because there is no such thing. At school I was always told "practice makes perfect" and "nobody is perfect" so which one is it? I've decided to believe the latter. I wouldn't like to live in a perfect world, it would be too boring.

So the next time you wake up and take a look in the mirror and see that you are you. This is the body God intended for you, so love yourself and others will love you back. Start to shape the person who is on the inside and that's when you will truly become happy.

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” - Anna Quindlen

Falling Into Place

Why is it, that when I get myself to sit down and write out a list of things I would like to accomplish, I get stuck.

I always see people around me who are big dreamers. Their dreams are to graduate university, get a good job, become a singer/dancer/actor, get married, have kids, be successful and/or be happy. But what about the people who don't know what they want? I'm one of those people...When I was getting ready to leave school at 16, I never knew what I wanted to do.
Everyone said it was ok since I was still young and that one day it will all just "fall into place".

...But 4 years on and I'm 20 now and still in the same position. I attempted uni twice and dropped out both times because I didn't have the passion to learn. I left school too young and tried to grow up too fast. After High School I felt free and independent and got caught in a whirlwind of partying and drinking. Of course that soon took it's toll on my course work and is also one of the reasons I left uni.

But saying that, I wouldn't go back to school if I had the choice. I don't think college and university is for everyone, people can make decent livings without going into further education. However it does make things a lot harder.

I often find myself lacking passion and dedication. I wish I had a lot of it, and try to find ways to get myself feeling more inspired. But when inspiration comes to me, it leaves quickly. I used to be a very negative person. But I've been trying to better myself, which has worked to some extent, but I still seriously lack in positivity, confidence and self-esteem.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I know I want to be happy, but I don't know anything else. I can't be happy if I just sit on my butt all day without a job. But at the same time I don't want to be stuck in a dead end job either. But how do I know what kind of job would make me happy if I don't even know what I want? I don't even know if I want to get married or have kids. I see far too many marriages break up, that I honestly don't see the point. As for kids, I also see many unfit parents that I'm scared I would be the same.

I know a lot of this stems back to issues from my childhood. But I haven't found ways to deal with the demons from my past yet. This is actually the first time I've properly written in a long time. I can't write much. I don't like letting out my feelings. I've also had my trust broken by writing my most personal thoughts into a diary, and have them read by someone who it was not intended for, who then went on to tell other people. That's one reason why I don't like writing. I know I need to find a way to express my feelings and opinions but just don't know how. I don't feel they are worthy enough to make a difference, and also worried about what people might say.

I would much rather listen to other peoples problems than deal with my own.

I agree that everyone should have goals that they should work towards in life. I think everyone should have something to dream about and believe in...but what if you just don't know what you want to accomplish in life? When is everything going to "fall into place"?