The Thief of Many Lives

This blog is about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I've heard those words thrown around before and thought it just meant someone who is tired a lot of the time. But it was recently brought to my attention what it really is. A girl I know is scared she may suffer from it especially since her own mother has this disease too.

In the USA it is estimated every 4 in 1000 adults suffer from CFS, and in the UK roughly 250,000 adults suffer. CFS mainly affects adults in their 40s and 50s, affecting women more than men. Full recovery only happens in 5-10% of cases and many sufferers want the medical name changed as "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome" does not convey how serious the illness is.

Please read the story below. It's a long one, but after reading it, it really touched my heart and I think we need to spread the word and raise awareness on this invisible disease that people can just brush off as a "state of mind". If you continue to read it all, then thank you :o)



The Thief of Many Lives

I am constantly on the prowl in search of new victims. I do not discriminate--health care workers, teachers, students, airline personnel, teens, and innocent children are my prey. If you are dynamic and have a lust for life, I will seek you out, and I will find you.

Just when you are at the peak of your endeavors, climbing that career ladder or building your family and home, I will find you. There is nothing that you have in your life today that I am not capable of destroying tomorrow, your career, your education, your goals, your dreams, your family, and your life. I will have it all. I will strip you of your ability to function at any level above minimal, and from this day on you will refer to that minimal as a "good day."

I have the ability to create an invalid out of you overnight, and I will. It will take a marathon effort for you just to get out of bed. At a cellular level your immune system will be in a constant war battling itself and unnamed viruses which will painfully be replicating in your brain. I promise you despair along with isolation and losses far beyond what you can ever imagine.

Your mind will be in a constant "fogged" state, your expression will be unable to express, and your eyes will have a noticeable "glazed over/drugged out" look. You will find it most difficult to pay attention, concentrate, or even process the simplest of thoughts. Making change from a dollar may well be beyond your ability now. Your mouth may feel like it is full of marbles when you try to speak, as your tongue twists and nothing you try to say comes out right. Who would believe your level of education when you can't even string enough words together to make a complete sentence ... or one that makes any sense.

I promise you, at any unsuspecting time, severe abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea along with a host of gastro-intestinal disorders. I will make you weak and lifeless as one could be without being confirmed dead. You will be house-bound or in bed for several years if not the rest of your life. As part of incapacitating you, I will make your heart race and your head pound; your throat will constantly be sore and your lymph glands will swell. That will all seem trivial after I inflame and spasm muscles throughout your body. Crushing a grape may take too much energy or be too painful now.

On those nights that I allow you to sleep, you will awaken drenched with sweat and throbbing with pain. Perhaps I might even throw in a little seizure activity. On those nights that I do not allow sleep to occur, I will torture you with thoughts of death.... Not suicide, but death. Simply because you have not come to realize that this is your new life, and that you are not living.

I have also done a few things that you may not be aware of yet. I placed some lesions on your brain (have you noticed how you have difficulty with balance and memory yet?) and have permanently turned your immune system on high. I have shorted out your nervous system so that you have intermittent numbness and tingling which might resemble an electrical current zapping you from time to time.

Now I have you, I have taken over your body and mind. I have stolen your life but left you alive, not very functional, but by clinical definition you are still alive.

Your family will not be able to give you all the constant care that you need on a daily basis. As for your friends, well, they're still on that ladder climbing up. I'll find them soon. By now you must have learned the definition of isolation, if for no other reason just so that you do not have to explain how you feel to others because they won't understand anyway. Isolation will save you all that energy.

Your health insurance has already been or will shortly be discontinued as you lost your job from not being able to "keep up." Perhaps you got caught dozing off or called in sick one too many times. Now that you are no longer employable or insurable when you seek medical care, any doctor who figures me out will diagnose you and say that what you have is presently not curable.

Now it is time for you to seek out medical care, nation-, if not world-wide. You will give more blood samples and have more examinations than you ever imagined existed. Then you can take the results to dozens of doctors in search of a diagnosis. One that is valid and accepted by the
medical community and insurance companies. One that does not label you as depressed or say that "it is all in your head!!!" Most doctors will suggest a vacation, weight loss diet, new or increased love life, help with the children, or change of scenery as the "cure," mainly because you look like the picture of health. This is my mask of deception.

You will pray for a positive word from current research. Research which you will soon learn is quite limited due to lack of funding and government support. You will learn new vocabulary which contains words like: T-Cells, Cytokines, Nuclear Antigens, Natural Killer Cells, Immunoglobulins, Cytomegalovirus, Seratonin, Cerebral lesions, and Immune Dysfunction are among a few. However the most important words that you will need to know and fight for the most are Social Security Disability and Medicare.

At one point I may give you a false sense of recovery or remission. let me assure you, I'll be back, as you are my prisoner and that makes me your keeper. I have placed the lives of millions of people nationwide in limbo. I would consider this an epidemic, wouldn't you?

Eventually I will bring the government, health care workers, and society to its knees in search of unraveling my complexities, which are crippling humanity. I leave it up to you, my victims, and your caretakers, to educate the public and let them know that I am very real and that you are very sick.

I AM CHRONIC FATIGUE AND IMMUNE DYSFUNCTION SYNDROME

This is how I'm currently feeling...

Dreams

I had a weird dream last night that has had me thinking all morning. Now, anyone who knows me will know I always have crazy, weird & random dreams. Another fact about my dreams that people tend to point out to me is how vivid they are, and how well I remember them.

I have spoken to quite a few people who swear they don't dream at all, or they forget their dreams as soon as they have properly woken up. It's the opposite for me. I always bore my friends to death with my dreams, and the adventures my mind takes me on when I'm sleeping.

Last night I was dreaming that I was in WHSmith, and I was at the till paying for something when I looked to my side and saw one of my old friends a few feet away from me. Her name is Natalie, we had been friends since we were about 2 years old but I haven't spoken to her in over a year now...Anyway, I kind of looked away from her because I didn't know if I should say hi or anything. Eventually she noticed me at the till and came over. She was smoking a cigarette. She was being over-friendly like "HI, HOW AREEEE YOOUUUU?" and had a kind of smirk on her face. She made me feel quite uneasy. Anyway, then I asked her what she was up to these days. She told me she would be graduating from university next week, which I thought was a bit odd since last I heard she wasn't at uni. Anyway, she was still kind of sneering at me and talking fakely and being too nice. Then all of a sudden she put her cigarette on my back and rubbed it in, burning me, and then she ran away. I put my hand on my back and felt the round-shaped burn mark that had gone right through my skin through my skin, which was extremely painful...

That's all I can remember from the dream... I often wonder what dreams mean, and of course, I wonder what this was meant too (if anything).

Now I tried searching "having a dream where a friend burns you with a cigarette" on Google, but that only brought up articles titled "It's Hard Smoking a Cigarette When You're Pete Burns" and "How To Repair Cigarette Burns In Carpets" ...not helpful, lol.

Anyway, after a bit of searching online, I found a dream dictionary that said this "If you are hurt, you will have enemies who will overcome you" ...which doesn't really help a lot. In fact, it kind of confuses me a bit more. What does it mean "enemies who will overcome you"? What does that mean? As in, they will "succeed" and you will "fail"? Because that doesn't sound too good :/

Another website said this > Injury - You are injured: You may have been offended or emotionally hurt. You inflict injury: Signal that you are doing same to another person.

Which I suppose could be true in that respect as I have been feeling emotionally hurt by one of my so-called friends recently...But I don't know. Why was it Natalie in my dream, and not any of my other friends?

I'll probably never know. Another dream, another unanswered question.

Is it ever possible to live in a drama-free world?

Is it ever possible to live in a drama-free world?

In some ways I think that without drama then life would be dull and boring. But in other ways I know how much problems drama can cause and I wish it would go away.

I try not to associate myself with negative people. I do not like being dragged into other peoples bullshit, so for that reason I am not friends with liars and attention seekers. There are some evil people out there. Manipulative people, conniving people, bitches, liars, cheaters etc etc. But I don't see why they don't see what they are doing wrong? Why do they insist on living a life that makes other peoples lives hell?

I'm not perfect. I'm far from it, and I know I never will be perfect because perfection doesn't exist. However, I always look for ways to better myself and help myself to become a better person. And for this reason, I cannot associate myself with people who enjoy bringing other people down.

I get hurt. People do hurt me. Emotions can be a bitch. I hate those days you have where you've have a big argument with someone, or someone has done something nasty to you, and the whole day you have a heavy heart and generally feel like shit. I live for the days where I'm not hurting. I love being happy and I enjoy it.

Certain things make me happy...for example...music, friends, having a structure to your day, seeing friends and family etc. So when some of your so-called friends turn around and stab you in the back, it fucking hurts. When they start being immature and pathetic you have to start wondering. When you start to see their immaturity as a common occurrence then you have to take a step back and re-assess the situation. Is this a good enough friend of yours that you will work through the problems, accept them for being the way they are. Or maybe they aren't worth your time because everything has to be dramatic to them.

I seriously can't stand drama. Actually fucking HATE it. I think I feel this way because growing up as a teenager I was constantly surrounded by drama in every day life thanks, in large part, to my parents. So now I strive to live in a drama free world.

I hate drama...nothing ever good comes from it. The only thing it produces it hurt, pain, anger, confusion and lots of many other negative emotions.

Is it ever possible to live in a drama-free world? Honestly...no, I don't think it is.

Christmas - A Time For Forgiveness

Christmas, for most people, is a time for family to get together and celebrate the holidays. It's the perfect time to let go of any grudges you hold against anyone, so you can start the New Year with a clean slate.
I spent most of 2009 not talking to a close family member. My stubborn ways meant I would rather do anything other than apologise or even talk to this person.
However, I knew this needed to change. I have forgiven and accepted this person back into my life, making family gatherings more bearable and less awkward. I have decided I need to quit acting stupid and stubborn, because family is really important and I know if anything had happened, and I hadn't reconciled with her then it would tear me apart inside.
It feels good to know that I can move on from this, and let go of this silly grudge. I can start the New Year feeling happy and refreshed, instead of dragging my problems with me.

"You owe it to yourself to not carry around this baggage of hurt feelings. It only hurts you worse in the long run. " - Kimberly Wyatt

Even though any time of the year is a good time for forgiveness and starting afresh, Christmas has that extra meaning. Christmas is about family. It means the end of the year, where you can leave your problems behind in 2009 and start 2010 on a positive note!

Mama <3

Today is the 10th December. The date 10th December 1998 is always in my mind, and it's a date I'll never forget.

I can't believe it's been 11 years already...where has the time gone? I get scared that as time goes on I will forget about her more and more. I feel like I can't talk about her, or what happened. I don't really like talking about it to other people because I know it makes them feel awkward. Plus I always think that since it's been 11 years now then people think I should be "over it".

I'll always remember that day, like it was yesterday. I was 9 years old and my mum had been diagnosed with bowel cancer in the August. I remember when my mum and dad sat me down and told me she was going to die. It completely broke my heart, and I never spoke about it to anyone. The next morning after my mum had told me, she found me crying in the bathroom and asked me what was wrong. I said something like "I'm scared you're not gonna be here for my 10th birthday" and she was like "well you never know...if we keep praying then maybe I will...maybe God will work a miracle so I can watch you grow up" I wonder what it must have felt like for her to have to say that to her child...

But she was so strong and brave. She never let it get her down. She celebrated her 40th birthday in the November with all her family and friends there. It was so happy, yet so sad because she was so sick.

Then 2 weeks later, on the 10th Dec my dad came into my bedroom and told me to come downstairs. It was a school day and I panicked because I thought he was gonna shout at me for sleeping in but I quickly glanced at the clock before I left my room and it was only about 7.20am...My dad took me into the dining room and sat me down. I could see through the glass doors into the living room (where my mums bed was) and I could see the curtains were still shut. That's when I knew. My dad started to talk but I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I just burst into tears and kept saying "no" over and over, really loudly to drown out what my dad was saying, as if saying it enough times would make it not be true? My dad then told me that my precious mummy had died in the middle of the night. I wanted to fucking break down.

I miss her so much. It's crazy because sometimes it STILL doesn't feel real. I still get mad and upset when I think about it. I always think WHY? Why did MY mum have to die? WHY was she taken from me when I was only a kid? WHY did she have to die when she had only just turned 40?? But if you keep asking "why" or "what if" then it would drive you crazy, right?

Ever since my mum died, life has been difficult for me. I sometimes feel as if someones out to get me and tried to make my life a living hell. But I have to deal with it and move on. Jump over every hurdle in life. When life gives you lemons...make lemonade. Kim once told me "Everyone in this world has dealt with some sort of hardships, it's how we choose to overcome them that creates a path." Well that's what I try to do. I try to find the best way to overcome things.

My life changed a lot after my mum died, and I honestly think if she was still alive today then I would be leading a very different life. So if you're reading this, and your mum is still around, then go up to her and tell her how much you love her. Please? Because I would do absolutely ANYTHING to see my mum again, even if it was just for a minute.

MOBOs & Got To Danceeee

I got to meet the amazing Kimberly Kaye Wyatt again in Glasgow at the MOBO Awards on 30th September, then again in Edinburgh and London when she was judging for Got To Dance :o)

MOBO Awards.

Basically what happened was...Lisa and I had arranged to go to where the MOBOs were being held to see if we could see anyone famous basically, but particularly because Kim had told us Nicole was going to be there.

But then on morning of the day at like 6am I saw Kims tweet about her coming to Glasgow and I was like so Lisa came through dead early at like half 9 in the morning. And we were gonna go to the airport to try and meet her there, but Mark text me saying they had already landed, but he told us which hotel they were at.

So we got to the hotel, but I already knew they has checked in already, so basically we just waited for them to appear. It was so cold and rainy outside, but luckily we had managed to stay inside the hotel the whole time, even though it was for guests only haha.

Well it turned out JLS, Lemar & Amir Khan were staying there too. We saw the JLS boys and got pictures with them.

Then like a few hours later Mark came out of the lift so we went with him to Costa, and he was telling us Kim was sleeping cos she's had like no sleep. And I asked him "Is Kim coming back in November?" and he was like "I dunno, she might be back sooner than you think" Which I was very confused by, but then realised what we was talking about later haha.

Anyway then we went back to the hotel and he went up to his room. So basically we were waiting for AGESSS. From like 10am till 7pm lol. Then at 5pm Mark comes down and was like "I need to find a drycleaners!! Kims dress needs steamed" or something. So he went out and we were like "Ughhh, she's still gonna be agesss" Then eventually he came back and he was like "5 minutes ok? She's all ready, just needs to put her dress on"

Then my friend Caitlin arrived. Then about 10 minutes later the lift door opens and out walk Kim and Mark And I was like "She looks so beautiful" I'm not joking, she actually looked like an angel!

And she was like "Hey babe!" and gave me a hug and then Lisa. And I was like "This is my friend Caitlin" and she was like "Hi Caitlin, it's so nice to meet you!" and gave her a hug. And I was like "Kim...you look amazing" and she was like "Thank you!" and thennn I said "and OMG you smell SOOOOOO good!!!!" hahaha and she just laughed and said thanks. Then we got pictures, and asked her if she was coming back in November she was like "I don't know :/" and we were like "Well you need to tell usss so we can plan it! Cos we never knew you were coming here and now suddenly your here!" And she was like "Aww yeah, I can't say for definite incase plans change though. But I'm glad I got to come see you in your hometown" (or something like that)

And then she left. So we went to the arena, to watch the red carpet. Saw people like Jermaine and LaToya Jackson, Keri Hilson, Kelly Rowland, Ndubz, JLS, Diversity, Danielle Lloyd, Alexandra Burke...probably more but I forgot lol.

Anyway then Kim was coming down the red carpet and we was screaming her name haha but she didn't really hear us. We were like 2/3 row. But she came over and she saw me and then she reached out and grabbed my hand and said "I love you!!" and I was like "I love you TOO!!!!" hehe

Thenn after everyone had gone in Lisa and I decided to go back to mine to watch the show (we never actually had tickets for the thing) Then after it we fell asleep but had set our alarms for 2am cos Kim told us she was leaving her hotel at 4am, to get on the first flight back to London cos she has a busy day there.

Lisa and I were trying to decide if we should go to her hotel or the airport. Anyway we decided on the airport, but neither of us had ANY money so we needed to find a place to park which was free (almost impossible in an airport). Anywayyy, totally by chance, the barrier to get into the Premier Inn car park was open, so we just parked the car there and hoped no-one would notice (it's for guests only) hahaha.

Then we went into the airport and waited for a couple of hourssss. Then I see this girl come in the door with her hood up and shades on, and I see a guy in a red hoodie and I SWEARRRRR I thought they were black (we were standing far away lol) so I said to Lisa "Oh look, wonder who that is!!" and she was like "OMG it's Mark and KIM!!!!" and I was like "What? No!! These people are black!" But turned out it actually was Kim and Mark LOOOOOL. I am actually blind.

So we walked up to them and Mark just said "Oh my god....you are CRAZY" (cos it was 5am lol) and Kim just smiled and gave us a hug. And she was telling us how she had a good night the night before etc. But they couldn't find their check in desk but then found out they were in the wrong terminal, so I think me and Lisa were really lucky Kim and Mark came into the wrong terminal or else we wouldn't have seen them.

So then they started walking away and Kim was like "come with us!" But then she just walked on ahead with her lil suitcase haha (think she was VERRRRY tired) and me, Lisa and Mark were a little behind her. She got a few stares, but no-one went up to her.

Then they checked in and me and Lisa just waited. Kim kept turning round and smiling at us. Then once they had checked in they came over. Kim was holding her passport and I really wanted to ask if I could see her photo but I didn't haha. Then we got pictures. And we were talking about going to LA lol. Then she was like "Well we gotta go, but it is always so good to see you!!" and I said "Well we just came because we looove you and just wanted to say bye" and she said "Thank you, I really appreciate it" Then we said bye and left.





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Got To Dance - Edinburgh

Me and Lisa went through to Edinburgh on 9th of October where it was a "dancing in the streets" type of thing. But I never joined in lolz. Anyway Kim was there And I went up to her but she was sort of looking at the ground so I kinda waved right under her face haha and she look up and was like "Oh HEY!" and gave me a hug and then was asking why I wasn't dancing and I said "Cos I can't dance" and she was like "Yes you can!!! I have seen you!!" and I was just like...loooooool. And then as we were talking some paps came over to us and were like "Kimberly, can we have a picture?" So Kim turned round and put put her arm round my waist so I turned round too and all these paps were taking our picture lol. I was just like so I hope these pictures never show up lol.

Then she went away for a bit and came back then Lisa met her and I can't really remember if anything interesting was said lol. All she said was that she was there the whole weekend. Then we got picturesss and she left.

Then on the Saturday and Sunday we went to where they were filming the auditions and me and Lisa managed to get into every filming (as audience members) even though we never had tickets lol. There was only like 200 people in the audience and Kim saw us and was always waving and smiling at us. But we couldn't go and meet her after it had finished cos the security guys were mean. But on the Saturday me and Lisa were leaving, and Kim was still sitting at the table talking to someone, and I kept looking round to try to catch her attention but couldn't. But then right before I went out the door, I turned around again and Kim stood up and had her arm in the air and was waving at meee and I was just like "omg" and got shy and just turned away LOL oops.

Then on the Sunday, there was quite a lot of breaks in filming as the dancers were getting interviewed and stuff. So you just had to sit there and the judges just sat at their table. And you were supposed to keep quiet. But then Lisa was trying to get Kims attention but couldn't catch it so I just had a random outburst and yelled out "KIMBERLYYYY" and she looked over and started laughing and I got soooo embarrassed cos EVERY audience member and every judge was looking at me so I just buried my face haha.

Then on the Sunday after the filmings we were trying to meet Kim. But her, Adam and Ashley (the other judges) were all in the one car with a camera guy so they couldn't stop. And we heard what hotel she might be staying at so we went to it but the staff said she wasn't staying there. And I rang round a million other hotels but couldn't find anything. And me and Lisa wanted to properly meet her again before she left.

We knew she was leaving on the Monday so decided the airport was our best bet. So we got the airport at like 830am even though we had no idea what time she was leaving or where she was going. So we decided to wait at security as we would almost definitely see her there. Anyway, we waited for like an hour, then Lisa went to the shop. Once she came back she gave me a Wispa she had bought me so I was sat staring at the ingredients and listening to music on my earphones. Then I just looked up and I saw Kim like RIGHT in front of me!! Except I could only see her from the side so couldn't really see her face. And I was like "OMG Lisa!!!!" and then I said "Kim!!!" but she didn't turn round. And she kept walking!! And I stood up and was like "Omg Lisa!!! Was that Kim??" And she was like "I dunnoo??" So I went after her while Lisa stayed and I was kinda behind her and said "Kim!!" again but she still didn't turn round.

And then she was literally JUST about to go through security and I was panicking cos I wasn't sure if it was her or not and I didn't wanna miss her so I just went "KIMBERLY" and she turned round and was like "oh my gosh where did you come from??" And I was like "omggg I was saying your name and you ignored me!!" hahha but I was just so happy it was her and I hadn't missed her LOL. Then Lisa came over, we got pictures and we talked to her for a bit. She said she's working on BM hoodies YAY!!! And she was like "Omg Scotland is FREEZING!! How do you live here?" and I was like "Take us to LA with you?" hehe. Then she was like "It was so much fun to have you in the audience!!" and Lisa said "Yeah we're gonna come down to London for the live shows" and Kim was like "ooh please do!!"

Oh and I asked if we could look at her neck piercing so she showed us. It is sooooo pretty!!! And tiny!!! A lot smaller than I thought. And it was still a bit red, she was telling us how it really hurt and stuff hehe. And she asked us "So what have you got planned for the rest of the day?" and it was only like 10am?? So I was like "Um, well, I dunno, we were planning on waiting here the whole day?" and she laughed lol. Then she said she had to get to her gate so I gave her another hug and said to her "I love you so much" and she replied "I love you so much too"

And then me and Lisa were on SUCH a high! Because we weren't even sure if we were gonna see Kim that day!! But we did, and only had to wait like just over an hour!!!





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Got To Dance - London

So me and Lisa got the overnight bus from Glasgow to London on Thursday 29th October. We arrived at Victoria in London at 7am on the Friday morning and I had literally only had like 20 minutes sleep

Thennn we got the tube to North Greenwich where our hotel was, and where the TV studio was. It's also where the O2 arena is
We dropped our bags off at the hotel, got changed and stuff then went to the Sky Dome, where the filming was being held and queued up. We met up with Eve and then watched both sessions. Kim saw us and waved at us and stuff

I'm trying to think if anything interesting happened that day...Hmm...anyway, then we got done at like 6pm so went to Waterloo station to meet Tori. Thennnn Eve went home so me, Lisa and Tori went to Kims hotel. We weren't 100% sure if she was staying there but we took a chance haha. Then about 20 minutes later Kim got out of a carrr

She told us it was fun to have us in the audience. She got pictures with us and she told Tori she had good style, aww lol Lisa asked her if she would sign a CD for her brother and Kim was like "Sure, what's his name?" and Lisa said "Kevin" and Kim was like "Awwwwwwwwwww" and had this cute little smile on her face haha. I showed her the wallpaper on my phone, which is an old pic of Kim and she was like "Omg, that was so long ago!" then she showed us her wallpaper which was a pic of Cupid

Then we left herrrr. We went back to our hotel and got pizzaaaa and then slept. I was soooo tired haha.

Then on Saturday me, Tori and Lisa met up with Eve again and went to the TV studio. Halfway through the filming this camera guy comes up to us and starts talking to us. I couldn't hear much of what he was saying though but then he told us that once the filming had finished he was going to grab us so he could film a little bit with Kim talking to us and then I was just like and looked at Kim and she was looking at us and laughing! So we were all like "omggg" then started doing our makeup and Kim looked over at us again and burst out laughing when she saw us doing our makeup, how embarrassinggg haha.

Then after the last dance act the guy grabbed us and took us over to Kim. We said hi and hugged her and stuff. Then the crew were asking questions like "What do you think of Kims judging?" "Why do you live Kim so much?" and "How does it feel to meet your idol?" Haha.
I was like sooo nervous. And when we were talking about why we loved Kim, I looked at her and she was just standing there and her eyes were welling up, she was trying not to cry!
She was saying to the camera about how we were family, and we always talk to her online and stuff, she regards us as friends, not fans and she loves how we always come out to support her.
Then the woman was like "Ok, now can you just say a little goodbye or something?" and Kim was like "Well, with us it's never goodbye. We always keep in touch and I know we will never lose touch"

Then we got a pic with her and she went away. We had to sign forms saying it was ok to put us on TV lol then the guy asked for a close up of my tattoo haha, cos I had mentioned it when talking about Kim.

Then the camera guy walked us outside of the studio (cos it was a break) and we didn't have tickets for the afternoon but he said to the security guy "These girls are friends of Kimberly Wyatt so make sure they get in for the next session ok?" Haha It was all a bit surreal.

Then we got in and watched the next session. Then once that finished we went to Kims hotel to try and meet her again lol. We waited for like an hour and then she came back. We got pictures with her, she recorded Tori's voicemail message and I wanted her to do mine but I had no credit to call my voicemail :(" border="0"> Then she said she was heading back to LA on Wednesday but was going to be in the studio before then as she is working with Aggro, who is like an urban/grime artist. Which I think it's kinda weird? Lol. Erm...trying to remember if she was saying anything else...

Anyway, then we went back to our hotel. There's a few things I've always wanted to say to Kim when I meet her but either the moment is never right, or I just can't get the words out. So I decided to write her a letter. I was feeling sort of deep, so just wrote out all my feelings down in a letter for her and it was quite personal lol.

Then on Sunday Tori had to go home. So me, Lisa and Eve went back for the final day of auditions. There was one group who did a dance to WIGU, and as Kim was talking to them about it afterwards, she mentioned the music and I started cheering really loudly, but I was like the only one? Haha, and Kim just looked over and pointed at me and laughed looooool.
There was one realllyyyyyy good group. A group of kids from Cardiff who were doing street/hip hop dancing. They were actually AMAZING. And they got a standing ovation from the crowd and the judges which had never happened before. They were called something like Dukebox Duo or something?

Then all the auditions were over So we went back to our hotel to collect our suitcases then headed to Kims hotel. Me and Lisa needed to put credit in our phones though so Kim could do our voicemails, so we had a mad dash trying to find a place that was still open at 7pm on a Sunday that did topups. Luckily Carphone Warehouse on Oxford St was still open, so we got them and then like ran to Kims hotel. Then literally about 10 minutes after we got there, she did too!!

She looked sooo pretty but we didn't get a pic with her that time cos she was too cold. So she did our voicemails. And I gave her my letter (which had gotten wet in the rain!!) and I told her how I had wrote it the night before and it was quite deep. Then I apologised for it being wet and that I hoped she could read it haha. She was like "Aww it's ok haha. And I love deep letters. They're the best" and she squeezed my hand. Then she had to go inside cos it was so cold so we said bye and left her. I had wanted to ask her about her album but never got the chance

Then we said bye to Eve, and Lisa and I had to wait for a couple of hours until our coach home. We got home at like 8am on the Monday morning.